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Fun Stuff

Lecturer Quotes

Over the years the lecturers here at Warwick have delivered one great lecture after another, sometimes they even find the time to say something funny. WMS presents to you some of the best quotes from our favourite lecturers.

At the bottom of the page you'll find more fun stuff!
Or view this page in a random order.

Got a funny quote? Go to the contact page and let us know!

  • Adam Epstein
    • "There's meant to be four axioms, but I can only remember two. You'll just have to make do." - 2005
    • "I forgot to bring my visual aid... In fact, I forgot to make it." - 2006
    • "I'm a bit out of it today." - 2006
    • "This proof takes a page in the book, but I've got a one line version." - 2006
    • "I've got myself a little lost here, what was I doing?" - 2006
    • "Here's a fairly simple simple closed curve." - 2006
    • "Is anything troubling you here? (Aside from the fact that I haven't proved anything.)" - 2006
    • "There's all manner of ways to have this theorem be false for stupid reasons." - 2006
    • "That's a vector; we don't want to divide by a vector... [changes working] Now that's a zero; we don't want to divide by a zero either." - 2006
    • "I bet this theorem is true in $ \mathbb{R}^n $, but I don't know the proof, so I can't tell you." - 2006
    • "I don't even know why we do this theorem in this course; we never use it." - 2006
    • "This illustrates something that is important... and silly." - 2006
    • "The tangent plane fits on S in a tangent sort of way." - 2006
    • "I'm being totally stupid; this working is fine. Just ignore everything that I said in the last minute." - 2006
    • "Audience: ‘What does that word say, in the top right?' A.E: 'I don't know... Maybe it's "quantities".'" - 2006
    • "I meant to show you a clip from the Internet, but IT services made everyone change their passwords and I can't remember mine." - 2006
  • Adrian Simpson
    • "If you thought Schroder-Bernstein was Gail Porter in tight leather then this [Lagrange's Theorem] is Cameron Diaz in skintight PVC ... anyway this theorem has big consequences ... stop sniggering" - 2000
    • "This is a really sexy proof but I don't want to go through it in detail. I'll just give a sketch proof. It's like all sexy things: you don't want to get too involved, you just want to see the picture." - 2001
    • "Don't ask me that, we don't want the room to get too hot!" - 2001
  • Anthony Manning
    • "It's always best to start a sentence with a word." - 2004
    • "We can number the weeks in the term as so.....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10." - 2005
    • "[Discussing assignment questions] How many of you have had problems with question 1? [pause] How many of you found question 1 easy? [pause] How many of you have had problems with question 2? [pause] How many of you found question 2 easy? [pause] How many of you have had problems with question 3? [pause] How many of you found question 3 easy? [pause] How many of you have had problems with question 4? [pause] How many of you found question 4 easy? [pause] It seems to me like nobody did the questions." - 2005
    • "The white chalk was running low, so I asked Albert [the Porter] for another box. The boxes are quite big and I was wondering where it all goes: does it get vacuumed up by the cleaners every morning before you arrive? or does it into the air and affect you? Does it help you think about analysis?" - 2006
    • "That reminds me: I want to talk to you about soap. I don't know if you've noticed, but the University's policy on soap has changed. It is now advertised as "calming, relaxing – energising, invigorating". So if you ever need calming and relaxing, or you've got to the point in the day when you need energising and invigorating, use soap." - 2006
    • "Series are like fish." - 2006
  • Balazs Szendroi
    • "You have met the definition of a metric space before. It was in...Geometry. Thats right. Oh and maybe Metric spaces as well." - 2001
  • Bas Lemmens
    • "[Confusing first words to 1st years] Hello and welcome to Introduction to Geometry. My name is Bas Lemmens. If you and your neighbour get bored with my lecture, here's a game you can play. [Walks over to board and draws some pencils.] Take some pencils and put them in 2 sets. Then you can take either a pencil from one set or a pencil from both sets, and the winner is the person who takes the last pencil. See if you can win." - 2004
    • "Bas Lemmens: 'This part of the module will not be lectured and examined.' Student: 'So are you saying that it will be examined.' Bas Lemmens: 'No, that was the only statement in my entire lecture that I thought would confuse nobody and it just has.'" - 2005
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Other Bits

A selection of links to other fun bits: