There are 535 members of the Warwick Mathematics Society, of which 0 are new today!

We're 107% of the way toward our target of 500 members.

You can join up on the Warwick SU website.

We're 107% of the way toward our target of 500 members.

You can join up on the Warwick SU website.

- MattTurner
- maunfp
- antoine.llor
- ellalikespurple
- u1415611

We have regular social events; the big ones being the Integrating Factor in term 1, and the Maths BBQ/ puzzle trail in term 3, as well as smaller socials such as pub golf throughout the year. We will inform you of these via our Facebook groups and through emails.

Over the years the lecturers here at Warwick have delivered one great lecture after another, sometimes they even find the time to say something funny. WMS presents to you some of the best quotes from our favourite lecturers.

At the bottom of the page you'll find more fun stuff!

Or view this page in alphabetical order.

Got a funny quote? Go to the contact page and let us know!

### Anthony Manning

- "It's always best to start a sentence with a word." - 2004
- "We can number the weeks in the term as so.....1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10." - 2005
- "[Discussing assignment questions] How many of you have had problems with question 1? [pause] How many of you found question 1 easy? [pause] How many of you have had problems with question 2? [pause] How many of you found question 2 easy? [pause] How many of you have had problems with question 3? [pause] How many of you found question 3 easy? [pause] How many of you have had problems with question 4? [pause] How many of you found question 4 easy? [pause] It seems to me like nobody did the questions." - 2005
- "The white chalk was running low, so I asked Albert [the Porter] for another box. The boxes are quite big and I was wondering where it all goes: does it get vacuumed up by the cleaners every morning before you arrive? or does it into the air and affect you? Does it help you think about analysis?" - 2006
- "That reminds me: I want to talk to you about soap. I don't know if you've noticed, but the University's policy on soap has changed. It is now advertised as "calming, relaxing â€“ energising, invigorating". So if you ever need calming and relaxing, or you've got to the point in the day when you need energising and invigorating, use soap." - 2006
- "Series are like fish." - 2006

### Miles Reid

- "You can't use vectors when you are drawing diagrams on your oiled body after a bath" - 1995
- "So I'm just going to say the same thing with my hands tied behind my back" - 1995
- "The dog is going to start it's walk from that post" - 1995
- "So that's a dog that's asleep; let sleeping dogs lie" - 1995
- "Aslong as you stay close to your mother you know what left and right are" - 1995
- "I have the moral duty to show you this is a topology" - 1995
- "You might think the notation curly B is set up as to be balls" - 1995
- "... to check whether n is prime, you only have to check whether it has a prime factor < = 121" - 1995
- "The probability of this is very small, but it is virtually certain to happen" - 1995
- "I'm philosophizing, not doing anything sensible" - 1995
- "I'm crossing my legs when it comes to abstract algebra" - 1995
- "One looks quite big and fat" - 1995
- "What's in books is a list of what's not interesting" - 1995
- "There are millions of proofs of Fermat's Last Theorem" - 1995
- "12 = 28-14-4+ 1" - 1995
- "I'll just leave the exercise as an exercise" - 1995
- "This is real, not algebra" - 1995
- "...a fun bit of combinatorics and number theory" - 1995
- "All good things in life have an end, except a sausage which has two" - 1995
- "A circle has no end. Therefore, it's not good." - 1995
- "This will do you a lot of good in this life and the life to come" - 1995
- "This is an elementary calculation,but I got in a muddle" - 1995
- "Sometimes lectures go really, really badly" - 1995
- "So f takes this point and spreads it out all over this line rather like al-Qaedas just hit it - and then the inverse function sort of sweeps the debris up and puts it back on the point. [Algebraic Geometry] " - 2003
- "I have a beautiful proof of this, however I appear to have left the piece of paper on my desk." - 2004
- "..pulling a rabbit out of a hat and examining it very carefully and saying, yes, it is a rabbit .." - 2003
- "..keeps professors of algebra in employment but has no practical purpose .." - 2003
- "..so insubstantial it may not be convincing, but it is rigorous .." - 2003
- "..it's pure pedantry but I do it anyway .." - 2003
- "..makes it trival to divide everything into half-sized mouthfuls.." - 2003
- "..I think it's backslash hook rightarrow in TeX .. " - 2003
- "When something in mathematics has three or four names, that means it's important." - 2006
- "We're in this complicated abstract mess where we don't understand anything that's going on." - 2006
- "If you don't understand what you are doing, sit down, have a cup of tea, and consider the case n=2." - 2006
- "A line is not linear! [It's affine linear, obviously.]" - 2006
- "My definition of affine space, it's confusing.
**I**get confused by it sometimes." - 2006 - "Saying it's obvious is an immensely powerful tool in mathematics." - 2006
- "What you need to understand about Riemann-Roch is basically that it's a tautology." - 2009

### Samir Siksek

- "Why are you talking? Is there a problem? [He pauses for a moment.] The problem is that I am going very fast but the clock is not going fast enough. " - 2005
- "Samir Siksek [teaching vectors and matrices]: "Would you like to know a secret about the exam?" Students: "Yes!" [He checks outside the door to make sure that nobody is listening in.] Samir Siksek: [Whispering] "There will be questions about vectors and matrices in the exam."" - 2005
- "I have lost the theorem so I will have to make it up. [Writes: Are you happy with the made-up theorem?]" - 2005
- "[After a girl at the back yawns loudly.] That sound actually makes me happy. You know why? Because that is a sign that at least one of you is alive." - 2006
- "Is it just me or do lecturers appear incompetant?" - 2005
- "Samir Siksek: "It that clear?" Students: "Yes" Samir Siksek: "You don't need an example, do you?" Students: "No" Samir Siksek: [Looks at clock.] "But we've still got 15 minutes left so we're going to waste 15 minutes of our time on an example we don't need."" - 2005
- "I've had the course [SSLC] survey, so now I can do anything I like." - 2005
- "I noticed a look of disappointment on your faces last week when you saw the blue sheet. Having thought about this over the weekend I have come up with a conjecture: You have spent the entire summer working in a sweatshop in order to pay for the fees for this experience, and when you finally got here you looked at this single side of A4 and decided it didn't really represent value for money. So to rectify this this week it is two sides of A4." - 2006 (and similar in 2007)
- "I am not going to reccommend a textbook to you, because if I did, 5 minutes after this lecture has finished there would be a riot in the library and a massacre in the bookshop." - 2007
- "It is normally about this time in the course that I tell you exactly what will be on the test tomorrow, but unfortunately for you your Director of Undergraduate Studies Dave Wood is sitting at the back, so I can't. Life's a bitch!" - 2007
- "A corollary is when a theorem has a baby, and decides to call it Corollary" - 2008

### Brian Sanderson

- "I think this is called a granny knot because granny doesn't know how to tie her shoelaces... Probably Alzheimer's or something." - 2006

- \"... Now hang on, I've done this wrong... No, that's right." - 2006

### Vadim Lozin

- "That is a very good answer, except for the problem that it is wrong." - 2008
- "Nobody needs an explanation of this... does anyone need an explanation of this?" - 2008

A selection of links to other fun bits:

- G103 a short film which shows a surreal "day in the life" of a mathematics undergraduate on the course. Starring our own T R Boardman (Social Sec), and a few other notables, this is a 'must see!'
- Blackboard Rubbing Times
- Maths Club An hilarious spoof of "Fight Club" with a mathematical twist. Set in the old Gibbet Hill Maths Institute.
- Bassett Numbers
- Quick Mathematics Jokes
- Calculus revisted
- Top Ten excuses for not doing Maths homework