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There are 545 members of the Warwick Mathematics Society, of which 0 are new today!
We're 109% of the way toward our target of 500 members.
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Fun Stuff

Socials

We have regular social events; the big ones being the Integrating Factor in term 1, and the Maths BBQ/ puzzle trail in term 3, as well as smaller socials such as pub golf throughout the year. We will inform you of these via our Facebook groups and through emails.

Lecturer Quotes

Over the years the lecturers here at Warwick have delivered one great lecture after another, sometimes they even find the time to say something funny. WMS presents to you some of the best quotes from our favourite lecturers.

At the bottom of the page you'll find more fun stuff!
Or view this page in alphabetical order.

Got a funny quote? Go to the contact page and let us know!

  • Tony Pritchard

    • "Now I'm going to do something crazy" - 1995
    • "It doesn't matter if you make a mistake in the exam, you won't lose marks for it" - 1995
    • "I don't expect you to understand this" - 1995
    • "Hello? ... who is this? ... this mobile phone was left in L3 at the University of Warwick ..." - 2001
    • "Does anyone know how these boards work?" - 2001
    • "That j should be a tau ... no, the k should ... oh, I don't know. Let's just start again" - 2001
  • Adam Epstein

    • "There's meant to be four axioms, but I can only remember two. You'll just have to make do." - 2005
    • "I forgot to bring my visual aid... In fact, I forgot to make it." - 2006
    • "I'm a bit out of it today." - 2006
    • "This proof takes a page in the book, but I've got a one line version." - 2006
    • "I've got myself a little lost here, what was I doing?" - 2006
    • "Here's a fairly simple simple closed curve." - 2006
    • "Is anything troubling you here? (Aside from the fact that I haven't proved anything.)" - 2006
    • "There's all manner of ways to have this theorem be false for stupid reasons." - 2006
    • "That's a vector; we don't want to divide by a vector... [changes working] Now that's a zero; we don't want to divide by a zero either." - 2006
    • "I bet this theorem is true in $ \mathbb{R}^n $, but I don't know the proof, so I can't tell you." - 2006
    • "I don't even know why we do this theorem in this course; we never use it." - 2006
    • "This illustrates something that is important... and silly." - 2006
    • "The tangent plane fits on S in a tangent sort of way." - 2006
    • "I'm being totally stupid; this working is fine. Just ignore everything that I said in the last minute." - 2006
    • "Audience: ‘What does that word say, in the top right?' A.E: 'I don't know... Maybe it's "quantities".'" - 2006
    • "I meant to show you a clip from the Internet, but IT services made everyone change their passwords and I can't remember mine." - 2006
    • "I don't want to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not saying that it's not important, everyone should at least check it once in their life, it's just that I've already checked it more than once in my life" - 2012
    • "'Evidently' means you have to think about it, and then it's 'true'" - 2012
    • "The claim will be much easier for you to prove when I give you the right thing" - 2014
  • Bas Lemmens

    • "[Confusing first words to 1st years] Hello and welcome to Introduction to Geometry. My name is Bas Lemmens. If you and your neighbour get bored with my lecture, here's a game you can play. [Walks over to board and draws some pencils.] Take some pencils and put them in 2 sets. Then you can take either a pencil from one set or a pencil from both sets, and the winner is the person who takes the last pencil. See if you can win." - 2004
    • "Bas Lemmens: 'This part of the module will not be lectured and examined.' Student: 'So are you saying that it will be examined.' Bas Lemmens: 'No, that was the only statement in my entire lecture that I thought would confuse nobody and it just has.'" - 2005
  • Samir Siksek

    • "Why are you talking? Is there a problem? [He pauses for a moment.] The problem is that I am going very fast but the clock is not going fast enough. " - 2005
    • "Samir Siksek [teaching vectors and matrices]: "Would you like to know a secret about the exam?" Students: "Yes!" [He checks outside the door to make sure that nobody is listening in.] Samir Siksek: [Whispering] "There will be questions about vectors and matrices in the exam."" - 2005
    • "I have lost the theorem so I will have to make it up. [Writes: Are you happy with the made-up theorem?]" - 2005
    • "[After a girl at the back yawns loudly.] That sound actually makes me happy. You know why? Because that is a sign that at least one of you is alive." - 2006
    • "Is it just me or do lecturers appear incompetant?" - 2005
    • "Samir Siksek: "It that clear?" Students: "Yes" Samir Siksek: "You don't need an example, do you?" Students: "No" Samir Siksek: [Looks at clock.] "But we've still got 15 minutes left so we're going to waste 15 minutes of our time on an example we don't need."" - 2005
    • "I've had the course [SSLC] survey, so now I can do anything I like." - 2005
    • "I noticed a look of disappointment on your faces last week when you saw the blue sheet. Having thought about this over the weekend I have come up with a conjecture: You have spent the entire summer working in a sweatshop in order to pay for the fees for this experience, and when you finally got here you looked at this single side of A4 and decided it didn't really represent value for money. So to rectify this this week it is two sides of A4." - 2006 (and similar in 2007)
    • "I am not going to reccommend a textbook to you, because if I did, 5 minutes after this lecture has finished there would be a riot in the library and a massacre in the bookshop." - 2007
    • "It is normally about this time in the course that I tell you exactly what will be on the test tomorrow, but unfortunately for you your Director of Undergraduate Studies Dave Wood is sitting at the back, so I can't. Life's a bitch!" - 2007
    • "A corollary is when a theorem has a baby, and decides to call it Corollary" - 2008
  • David Elworthy

    • "[talking about trying to prove a theorem]Here you might give up... or decide this is sport and try again. " - 2005
    • "If not, try again and get a good feel tomorrow." - 2005
    • "It's immediate when you think about it for a little bit." - 2005
    • "I can put whatever symbols I want on the board as long as I stick to the laws of decency." - 2005
    • "We've differentiated twice now so we're unstoppable." - 2005
    • "We can apply this theorem [points] ... which I've rubbed off." - 2005
    • "This function is going up and down like the clappers." - 2005
    • "Damn, I got it wrong. Monkey nuts." - 2005
    • "OK, you can go now and à dream happily." - 2005
    • "This is a really interesting question, the perfect sort for discussing with friends over a glass of water or something." - 2005
    • "Did I just write a lambda? I meant r. Arr. Arrrrrrr. [Circles it a few times, and draws an arrow saying "arr".] No, wait, I spelt it wrong. [Adds gh to the end so it becomes "arrgh".]" - 2005
    • "Now, all this happens because of that proof up there [points to something he wrote high up on the board that he can reach] I'll see if I can get it [he throws a piece of chalk up at it, which doesn't leave any mark, and falls back down before people can see what he is talking about]." - 2005
    • "Now it's time to use L'Hopital's Rule; so let's wheel out the old geezer!" - 2005
    • "This is a lovely theorem." - 2006
    • "I've put we "know" in quotations because we dont." - 2006
    • "You don't have to call a function sally if you don't want to, you could call it Cuthbert or anything you like really as long as you stick to the laws of decency and...errr, you don't even have to do that. [Demonstrating that a confusing looking function was just notation by calling it Sally instead.]" - 2006
    • "[After hearing giggles at the mention of a Lipschitz function:] Well, I suppose Lipschitz was some... one of these... people." - 2006
    • "Not one of these 8's upside down; that's not existing, that's just being in a sort of sublime state. [on infinity]" - 2006

Other Bits

A selection of links to other fun bits: