The Warwick Mathematics Society Website

We are sponsored by

User login

Upcoming events

  • No upcoming events available

There are 690 members of the Warwick Mathematics Society, of which 0 are new today!
We're 138% of the way toward our target of 500 members.
You can join up on the Warwick SU website.

Who's new

  • LukeJackson
  • andrewscoones
  • u1401907
  • beckmann_jakob
  • josh

Fun Stuff

Socials

We have regular social events; the big ones being the Integrating Factor in term 1, and the Maths BBQ/ puzzle trail in term 3, as well as smaller socials such as pub golf throughout the year. We will inform you of these via our Facebook groups and through emails.

Lecturer Quotes

Over the years the lecturers here at Warwick have delivered one great lecture after another, sometimes they even find the time to say something funny. WMS presents to you some of the best quotes from our favourite lecturers.

At the bottom of the page you'll find more fun stuff!
Or view this page in alphabetical order.

Got a funny quote? Go to the contact page and let us know!

  • Adam Epstein

    • "There's meant to be four axioms, but I can only remember two. You'll just have to make do." - 2005
    • "I forgot to bring my visual aid... In fact, I forgot to make it." - 2006
    • "I'm a bit out of it today." - 2006
    • "This proof takes a page in the book, but I've got a one line version." - 2006
    • "I've got myself a little lost here, what was I doing?" - 2006
    • "Here's a fairly simple simple closed curve." - 2006
    • "Is anything troubling you here? (Aside from the fact that I haven't proved anything.)" - 2006
    • "There's all manner of ways to have this theorem be false for stupid reasons." - 2006
    • "That's a vector; we don't want to divide by a vector... [changes working] Now that's a zero; we don't want to divide by a zero either." - 2006
    • "I bet this theorem is true in $ \mathbb{R}^n $, but I don't know the proof, so I can't tell you." - 2006
    • "I don't even know why we do this theorem in this course; we never use it." - 2006
    • "This illustrates something that is important... and silly." - 2006
    • "The tangent plane fits on S in a tangent sort of way." - 2006
    • "I'm being totally stupid; this working is fine. Just ignore everything that I said in the last minute." - 2006
    • "Audience: ‘What does that word say, in the top right?' A.E: 'I don't know... Maybe it's "quantities".'" - 2006
    • "I meant to show you a clip from the Internet, but IT services made everyone change their passwords and I can't remember mine." - 2006
    • "I don't want to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not saying that it's not important, everyone should at least check it once in their life, it's just that I've already checked it more than once in my life" - 2012
    • "'Evidently' means you have to think about it, and then it's 'true'" - 2012
    • "The claim will be much easier for you to prove when I give you the right thing" - 2014
  • G.T. Renshaw

    • "Has anybody got any WD40?" - 1999
  • Miles Reid

    • "You can't use vectors when you are drawing diagrams on your oiled body after a bath" - 1995
    • "So I'm just going to say the same thing with my hands tied behind my back" - 1995
    • "The dog is going to start it's walk from that post" - 1995
    • "So that's a dog that's asleep; let sleeping dogs lie" - 1995
    • "Aslong as you stay close to your mother you know what left and right are" - 1995
    • "I have the moral duty to show you this is a topology" - 1995
    • "You might think the notation curly B is set up as to be balls" - 1995
    • "... to check whether n is prime, you only have to check whether it has a prime factor < = 121" - 1995
    • "The probability of this is very small, but it is virtually certain to happen" - 1995
    • "I'm philosophizing, not doing anything sensible" - 1995
    • "I'm crossing my legs when it comes to abstract algebra" - 1995
    • "One looks quite big and fat" - 1995
    • "What's in books is a list of what's not interesting" - 1995
    • "There are millions of proofs of Fermat's Last Theorem" - 1995
    • "12 = 28-14-4+ 1" - 1995
    • "I'll just leave the exercise as an exercise" - 1995
    • "This is real, not algebra" - 1995
    • "...a fun bit of combinatorics and number theory" - 1995
    • "All good things in life have an end, except a sausage which has two" - 1995
    • "A circle has no end. Therefore, it's not good." - 1995
    • "This will do you a lot of good in this life and the life to come" - 1995
    • "This is an elementary calculation,but I got in a muddle" - 1995
    • "Sometimes lectures go really, really badly" - 1995
    • "So f takes this point and spreads it out all over this line rather like al-Qaedas just hit it - and then the inverse function sort of sweeps the debris up and puts it back on the point. [Algebraic Geometry] " - 2003
    • "I have a beautiful proof of this, however I appear to have left the piece of paper on my desk." - 2004
    • "..pulling a rabbit out of a hat and examining it very carefully and saying, yes, it is a rabbit .." - 2003
    • "..keeps professors of algebra in employment but has no practical purpose .." - 2003
    • "..so insubstantial it may not be convincing, but it is rigorous .." - 2003
    • "..it's pure pedantry but I do it anyway .." - 2003
    • "..makes it trival to divide everything into half-sized mouthfuls.." - 2003
    • "..I think it's backslash hook rightarrow in TeX .. " - 2003
    • "When something in mathematics has three or four names, that means it's important." - 2006
    • "We're in this complicated abstract mess where we don't understand anything that's going on." - 2006
    • "If you don't understand what you are doing, sit down, have a cup of tea, and consider the case n=2." - 2006
    • "A line is not linear! [It's affine linear, obviously.]" - 2006
    • "My definition of affine space, it's confusing. I get confused by it sometimes." - 2006
    • "Saying it's obvious is an immensely powerful tool in mathematics." - 2006
    • "What you need to understand about Riemann-Roch is basically that it's a tautology." - 2009
  • David Elworthy

    • "[talking about trying to prove a theorem]Here you might give up... or decide this is sport and try again. " - 2005
    • "If not, try again and get a good feel tomorrow." - 2005
    • "It's immediate when you think about it for a little bit." - 2005
    • "I can put whatever symbols I want on the board as long as I stick to the laws of decency." - 2005
    • "We've differentiated twice now so we're unstoppable." - 2005
    • "We can apply this theorem [points] ... which I've rubbed off." - 2005
    • "This function is going up and down like the clappers." - 2005
    • "Damn, I got it wrong. Monkey nuts." - 2005
    • "OK, you can go now and à dream happily." - 2005
    • "This is a really interesting question, the perfect sort for discussing with friends over a glass of water or something." - 2005
    • "Did I just write a lambda? I meant r. Arr. Arrrrrrr. [Circles it a few times, and draws an arrow saying "arr".] No, wait, I spelt it wrong. [Adds gh to the end so it becomes "arrgh".]" - 2005
    • "Now, all this happens because of that proof up there [points to something he wrote high up on the board that he can reach] I'll see if I can get it [he throws a piece of chalk up at it, which doesn't leave any mark, and falls back down before people can see what he is talking about]." - 2005
    • "Now it's time to use L'Hopital's Rule; so let's wheel out the old geezer!" - 2005
    • "This is a lovely theorem." - 2006
    • "I've put we "know" in quotations because we dont." - 2006
    • "You don't have to call a function sally if you don't want to, you could call it Cuthbert or anything you like really as long as you stick to the laws of decency and...errr, you don't even have to do that. [Demonstrating that a confusing looking function was just notation by calling it Sally instead.]" - 2006
    • "[After hearing giggles at the mention of a Lipschitz function:] Well, I suppose Lipschitz was some... one of these... people." - 2006
    • "Not one of these 8's upside down; that's not existing, that's just being in a sort of sublime state. [on infinity]" - 2006
  • Jose Rodrigo

    • "We cannot do this -- life would be too good!" - 2012
    • "When you become a mathematician, you like to do things your own way." - 2012
    • "Normally, we stop courses as soon as they get interesting -- this is also the case here." - 2012

Other Bits

A selection of links to other fun bits: