• "I'm really environmental, I'm going to recycle this notation." - 2005
• "I don't know what I've written here...erm, aaha, you know I think I'm going to rewrite this. It's clearly the work of an idiot." - 2005
• "OK, now listen to this. This is really incredible. It will literally blow your mind. It's absolutely fantastic. [Proceeds to talk about something boring to do with complex numbers.]" - 2005

• "Audience: 'What is J on that left hand board?' V.B: 'That's not a J, it's an erased letter F.'" - 2006
• "If that made any sense to any of you, good. If not, don't worry." - 2006

• "I'm typical of people who spend all their time in front of a computer, in that I can't read or write." - 2001
• "I wasn't planning on producing handouts, but since we agreed last lecture that my handwriting is illegible ..." - 2001

• "As an example of Kaczinsky's mistakes, he felt it was somehow acceptable to make a bomb using gunpowder, but it must be in a wooden box." - April 4th, 1996

• "So a martian comes down to earth and asks you 'what is this map?'. You try to explain in terms of some space and he says 'what is this space? I only have tentacles'." - 2005

• "17, I've never seen that number before. It must be a very important number." - 2009

• "I really get descent." - 2009

• "What is this descent condition? I don't get it at all." - 2009

• "He will win the next fields medal." - 2009

• "I cheated. I cheated and you believed me. You believed me." - 2009

*

• "I'm sorry, I'm waving a knife around because I don't have a pointing stick. Am I scaring you?" - 2005
• "We are no longer in the business of pretending to be Moses" - 2007
• "If nothing happens, then clearly nothing happens" - 2007