The Warwick Mathematics Society Website

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There are 894 members of the Warwick Mathematics Society, of which 0 are new today!
We're 178% of the way toward our target of 500 members.
You can join up on the Warwick SU website.

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Fun Stuff


We have regular social events; the big ones being the Integrating Factor in term 1, and the Maths BBQ/ puzzle trail in term 3, as well as smaller socials such as pub golf throughout the year. We will inform you of these via our Facebook groups and through emails.

Lecturer Quotes

Over the years the lecturers here at Warwick have delivered one great lecture after another, sometimes they even find the time to say something funny. WMS presents to you some of the best quotes from our favourite lecturers.

At the bottom of the page you'll find more fun stuff!
Or view this page in alphabetical order.

Got a funny quote? Go to the contact page and let us know!

  • Balazs Szendroi

    • "You have met the definition of a metric space before. It was in...Geometry. Thats right. Oh and maybe Metric spaces as well." - 2001
  • Dave Wood

    • "Can we have some quiet please? I heard someone mention washing machines - that's clearly not maths." - 2003
    • "Top B is more cheese than you can poke a stick at. [writes on board: "do foundations or go to top b"]" - 2004
    • "Let this be a solution to Duffing's equation... Is the floor moving?" [After downing a pint and a shot of tequila in rag week] " - 2004
    • "I don't know why I said that, I was just waffling." - 2005
    • "Are there any Fulham supporters here? If so, leave your library card numbers with me at the end of the lecture, you've just failed the first assessment. [After Fulham beat Watford at football.] " - 2005
    • "Student: "What's that sign before the $ p(t)y $?" Dave Wood: "It's a times sign. It's like a plus sign on its side. It means to multiply."" - 2005
    • "At the end of a mathematical proof, you draw a filled in box, which means end of proof. Or of course you could just write $ W^5 $ [long pause, confused faces]: Which Was What We Wanted. But, err, I would advise not doing that since it's not very formal." - 2004
    • "My rabbits never seemed to reproduce, the only thing they produced was copious amounts of shit." - 2005
    • "We would like to think that if we started off with just a few rabbits in this lecture theatre and gave them lots of food, if we came back in a year's time there would be a lot more rabbits. If you don't understand, ask your mum and dad." - 2005
    • "Is the guy who times how long lecturers take to rub out boards here? ['Yes'] Did you get my time for the really fast board that I did last lecture? ['Yes'] Was it faster than David Mond's fastest? ['Yes'] Mond you suck." - 2005
    • "[Writes equation $ \frac{dN}{dt} = N(a - bP) $ on board]And this equation has a minus $ bNP $ in it. [Pause] That's not supposed to be a political statement. [Another pause] But I would like to minus the BNP. That is supposed to be a political statement." - 2005
    • "[A note is passed forward, addressed to 'Dave Wood, Front of MS02'. A student in the front row delivers it] Dave: What's this? A note for me? Student: Apparently so. Dave: [reads the note] 'I was just wondering, how much wood would a Dave Wood chuck, if a Dave Wood could chuck wood?' [Gives the impression of considering this question deeply.] A lot, I think." - 2005
    • "[In last lecture of the course.] 0.0949 is small, so 0.0949 squared is very small. Maths/Physics people: 0.0949 squared equals zero. [Pauses] I'm gonna miss that." - 2005
  • Brian Sanderson

    • "I think this is called a granny knot because granny doesn't know how to tie her shoelaces... Probably Alzheimer's or something." - 2006
    • \"$ 15+5-8+2 = 14 $... Now hang on, I've done this wrong... No, that's right." - 2006
  • David Rand

    • "Let's forget about real things for a moment." - 1995
  • Adam Epstein

    • "There's meant to be four axioms, but I can only remember two. You'll just have to make do." - 2005
    • "I forgot to bring my visual aid... In fact, I forgot to make it." - 2006
    • "I'm a bit out of it today." - 2006
    • "This proof takes a page in the book, but I've got a one line version." - 2006
    • "I've got myself a little lost here, what was I doing?" - 2006
    • "Here's a fairly simple simple closed curve." - 2006
    • "Is anything troubling you here? (Aside from the fact that I haven't proved anything.)" - 2006
    • "There's all manner of ways to have this theorem be false for stupid reasons." - 2006
    • "That's a vector; we don't want to divide by a vector... [changes working] Now that's a zero; we don't want to divide by a zero either." - 2006
    • "I bet this theorem is true in $ \mathbb{R}^n $, but I don't know the proof, so I can't tell you." - 2006
    • "I don't even know why we do this theorem in this course; we never use it." - 2006
    • "This illustrates something that is important... and silly." - 2006
    • "The tangent plane fits on S in a tangent sort of way." - 2006
    • "I'm being totally stupid; this working is fine. Just ignore everything that I said in the last minute." - 2006
    • "Audience: ‘What does that word say, in the top right?' A.E: 'I don't know... Maybe it's "quantities".'" - 2006
    • "I meant to show you a clip from the Internet, but IT services made everyone change their passwords and I can't remember mine." - 2006
    • "I don't want to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not saying that it's not important, everyone should at least check it once in their life, it's just that I've already checked it more than once in my life" - 2012
    • "'Evidently' means you have to think about it, and then it's 'true'" - 2012
    • "The claim will be much easier for you to prove when I give you the right thing" - 2014

Other Bits

A selection of links to other fun bits: