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There are 431 members of the Warwick Mathematics Society, of which 0 are new today!
We're 86% of the way toward our target of 500 members.
You can join up on the UWSU website.

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Dave Wood

Photograph of Dave Wood

Legend.

Contact Details

Quotes

  • "Can we have some quiet please? I heard someone mention washing machines - that's clearly not maths." - 2003
  • "Top B is more cheese than you can poke a stick at. [writes on board: "do foundations or go to top b"]" - 2004
  • "Let this be a solution to Duffing's equation... Is the floor moving?" [After downing a pint and a shot of tequila in rag week] " - 2004
  • "I don't know why I said that, I was just waffling." - 2005
  • "Are there any Fulham supporters here? If so, leave your library card numbers with me at the end of the lecture, you've just failed the first assessment. [After Fulham beat Watford at football.] " - 2005
  • "Student: "What's that sign before the $ p(t)y $?" Dave Wood: "It's a times sign. It's like a plus sign on its side. It means to multiply."" - 2005
  • "At the end of a mathematical proof, you draw a filled in box, which means end of proof. Or of course you could just write $ W^5 $ [long pause, confused faces]: Which Was What We Wanted. But, err, I would advise not doing that since it's not very formal." - 2004
  • "My rabbits never seemed to reproduce, the only thing they produced was copious amounts of shit." - 2005
  • "We would like to think that if we started off with just a few rabbits in this lecture theatre and gave them lots of food, if we came back in a year's time there would be a lot more rabbits. If you don't understand, ask your mum and dad." - 2005
  • "Is the guy who times how long lecturers take to rub out boards here? ['Yes'] Did you get my time for the really fast board that I did last lecture? ['Yes'] Was it faster than David Mond's fastest? ['Yes'] Mond you suck." - 2005
  • "[Writes equation $ \frac{dN}{dt} = N(a - bP) $ on board]And this equation has a minus $ bNP $ in it. [Pause] That's not supposed to be a political statement. [Another pause] But I would like to minus the BNP. That is supposed to be a political statement." - 2005
  • "[A note is passed forward, addressed to 'Dave Wood, Front of MS02'. A student in the front row delivers it] Dave: What's this? A note for me? Student: Apparently so. Dave: [reads the note] 'I was just wondering, how much wood would a Dave Wood chuck, if a Dave Wood could chuck wood?' [Gives the impression of considering this question deeply.] A lot, I think." - 2005
  • "[In last lecture of the course.] 0.0949 is small, so 0.0949 squared is very small. Maths/Physics people: 0.0949 squared equals zero. [Pauses] I'm gonna miss that." - 2005

More lecturer quotes